The G.R.I.T. Blueprint: Mastering Resilience with Lara Jones

[00:00:02] In the entrepreneur world, you can have ups and downs, you don't always know where the

[00:00:06] next check is coming in from.

[00:00:08] But you've got to understand that if you don't say no, you're harming yourself.

[00:00:13] The elimination is the key to success.

[00:00:16] The more you learn how to eliminate unnecessary tasks or saying no to an opportunity that

[00:00:23] when you look at it on a bigger scale probably isn't going to be much of an opportunity

[00:00:27] that's actually going to hinder you.

[00:00:29] It becomes empowering the more that you realize as you're using these particular tools, all

[00:00:35] of a sudden you're like, wow, I'm sticking to my path and I'm able to just get rid

[00:00:40] of the distractions and focus on the end goal.

[00:00:50] Welcome to the En Factor, conversations with entrepreneurs who started, stumbled

[00:00:54] and succeeded.

[00:00:55] I'm Rebecca White and today I'm pleased to bring to the show Laura Jones, who's

[00:01:02] one of the most respected speakers on grit and also an award winning grit performance

[00:01:10] expert, keynote speaker and creator of the global grit system.

[00:01:16] She's also a book author and from everything I can see has an amazing story to share.

[00:01:22] So I am very excited to have you on the show today.

[00:01:25] Thank you for joining me.

[00:01:27] Thank you, Rebecca.

[00:01:28] And thank you for sharing your wonderful audience with me today as well.

[00:01:31] Absolutely.

[00:01:32] We met through one of we were just talking about, met through one of my former graduate

[00:01:36] students and your topic I think is incredibly important for all of our entrepreneurship

[00:01:43] students to hear.

[00:01:44] And I think it's an important one for people of all walks of life.

[00:01:49] So I'm sure you have lots to do talking about staying resilient and endurance and

[00:01:57] overcoming the failures and challenges of life.

[00:02:00] Absolutely, Rebecca.

[00:02:01] Well, here's the thing I'm mostly known as a grit development expert, as you

[00:02:05] mentioned, but I never wanted to be known for grit, right?

[00:02:08] It's not something that you wake up every day thinking, yes, you know, I want

[00:02:12] to go through challenges in life and show everyone else.

[00:02:15] But it's the thing of it is that success is a word that many people use and may

[00:02:23] achieve, but there's many out there that may fail trying to get there.

[00:02:28] OK.

[00:02:28] And that's where you find that half the people will run back to their comfort zone

[00:02:34] because they don't know how to push forward, right?

[00:02:36] They don't know what to do next.

[00:02:38] And so they run back to their safety.

[00:02:40] And actually, if you look back 10,000 years ago, I mean, our brains are

[00:02:43] doing what they're supposed to do, right, which is protect us, protect us

[00:02:47] from the unknown.

[00:02:48] And so that's why many people will run back to the comfort zone and the

[00:02:52] other half may freeze.

[00:02:54] So they'll freeze in their fear zone and they're not quite equipped or enough

[00:02:59] or sure of how to break out of that fear zone and push through to the

[00:03:04] learning zone, which is eventually going to get you to the growth.

[00:03:06] So with everything that I've been through, Rebecca, in my life, you

[00:03:11] know, a lot of people look at me and think, OK, she's award-winning,

[00:03:15] leadership performance expert, grit development expert, I'm an author,

[00:03:17] I'm also an athlete.

[00:03:19] I travel the world keynote speaking and have worked with some very big

[00:03:23] company names, like very top names out there.

[00:03:25] And I've worked with celebrities too.

[00:03:27] How did they get there?

[00:03:28] Right. Because it's a lot of people look at me and think, oh, she's

[00:03:31] very successful.

[00:03:32] You know, this must have been a bit of luck.

[00:03:33] Listen, you make your own luck.

[00:03:35] Right. And the biggest currency that I tell people it's the most

[00:03:40] important to have within your life is relationships.

[00:03:44] It's not money.

[00:03:46] It's time is important too, but it's not even time for me.

[00:03:49] It is relationships because I didn't get to where I am today on my own.

[00:03:54] You didn't get to where you are today on your own.

[00:03:56] Anyone listening didn't get to where they are on their own.

[00:03:59] Right. It's the people you surround yourself with and I call it the

[00:04:02] culture of excellence.

[00:04:04] And eight years ago, I actually moved to this country, to America,

[00:04:08] from England with nothing.

[00:04:11] And I had a fantastic career over in England.

[00:04:13] I was earning very well.

[00:04:15] I was well known in the industry that I was working in.

[00:04:18] And I just decided I've had enough of grit choosing me and not being

[00:04:24] equipped enough to be able to handle it.

[00:04:26] Now, I've gone through many traumas in my past.

[00:04:29] I actually talk about it in my book, Hunt or Be Hunted.

[00:04:31] And I discussed a little bit in chapter two, so you, to read this

[00:04:34] could actually understand where I come from, what my background is

[00:04:39] and how I became the expert in grit.

[00:04:42] And so I have gone through many traumas in my life that led me to

[00:04:45] the point at the age of 32, I said, that's it.

[00:04:50] I've had enough.

[00:04:51] I'm going to choose my own grit before grit chooses me again.

[00:04:55] So I moved over to America and for three days, I couldn't even eat

[00:05:00] at one point because I didn't have the money to.

[00:05:02] Most people may have said, may have given up at that point and said,

[00:05:05] I'm just going to go back to the country that I grew up in.

[00:05:08] I'm going to go get a job.

[00:05:09] And bear in mind, I came here as an entrepreneur.

[00:05:11] I did not have a social security number at the time, so I couldn't

[00:05:14] go and work for anybody.

[00:05:16] I didn't have any money, didn't know where I was going to sleep.

[00:05:20] I didn't have a car.

[00:05:21] I mean, I had nothing.

[00:05:23] But the one thing that I did have that nobody, nobody could

[00:05:27] take away from me was my belief.

[00:05:30] I had my own self-belief.

[00:05:31] No matter what hit me, no matter what came my way, I never, ever,

[00:05:35] ever gave up and I kept that vision and I kept it strong.

[00:05:40] And I built relationships, right?

[00:05:43] I built relationships and those relationships opened up doors for me.

[00:05:46] They knew people that they introduced me to and so on and so on.

[00:05:51] Well, you'd think after a few years, that's it.

[00:05:53] You know, it's great.

[00:05:54] It's, you know, I'm in this situation.

[00:05:57] I'm over in America.

[00:05:58] I'm making it work.

[00:05:59] I started my business.

[00:06:02] And then two and a half years ago, I had the worst tragedy of my life hit me.

[00:06:09] And I don't think anything can ever prepare you for this, quite frankly.

[00:06:12] It's something that I never imagined that I would ever have to face.

[00:06:18] But two and a half years ago, my youngest son, Jack, passed away.

[00:06:22] And I also nearly lost my life the same night.

[00:06:27] And quite frankly, that changed everything in my life.

[00:06:32] It changed everything about the way I'd been thinking about things,

[00:06:35] the way I approached things.

[00:06:37] See, I was always known as a very gritty individual.

[00:06:40] I've coached individuals.

[00:06:41] I've coached teams.

[00:06:43] You know, I'm an executive coach.

[00:06:44] I coach some top executives.

[00:06:46] And I coach them on grit and leadership and communication and so forth,

[00:06:51] even emotional intelligence.

[00:06:53] But I tell you that I tell you something, when you are put in a dire

[00:06:56] situation such as losing a child, nothing really prepares you for that.

[00:07:01] And honestly, this is how the global grit system was born.

[00:07:05] I'm happy to go into that in a little bit.

[00:07:07] But.

[00:07:07] Sure.

[00:07:09] Wow, wow.

[00:07:11] What an introduction.

[00:07:12] And first of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your son.

[00:07:16] I can't imagine.

[00:07:18] I have two children and now grandchildren.

[00:07:21] And I can't imagine.

[00:07:24] But I find this whole topic fascinating.

[00:07:28] At one point in my life, I went through a very, very challenging time.

[00:07:33] Well, several times.

[00:07:35] If you've lived long enough, I guess you've had challenges.

[00:07:37] But I can remember finding a book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

[00:07:43] And it was it was a great book for me because at the time I was a single mom

[00:07:50] working on my PhD and and, you know,

[00:07:54] felt like I had the burdens of the world on my shoulders.

[00:07:58] And yet I I knew that I needed to take some risk and step out.

[00:08:02] And so, you know, I I love your story.

[00:08:07] I'm sorry that you've had to experience some of the things you've had.

[00:08:10] But what a gift to give back and to share.

[00:08:13] And I'm sure that's been part of your therapy, I guess we might call it

[00:08:17] to deal with your own challenges, to be able to share that back.

[00:08:22] You see, yeah, I mean, how I look at it is they were,

[00:08:25] you know, during that time period when I lost my youngest

[00:08:28] and I nearly lost my life and when I say I lost my life,

[00:08:30] I mean, I was seconds from flatlining.

[00:08:32] I was extremely I'm extremely lucky to be alive today.

[00:08:36] And I don't take that lightly.

[00:08:38] And it took me, you know, those four months that went by

[00:08:41] between my son passing, my nearly losing my life to when everything kind of clicked for me.

[00:08:48] And it was it was a dark period in my life.

[00:08:51] And I remember sleeping in Jack's room one night and I woke up the next morning.

[00:08:56] It was four months later. It was a Monday.

[00:08:58] It was January of 2022.

[00:09:00] And I remember looking in the mirror at myself and I said,

[00:09:05] you got to wake up today.

[00:09:07] Your son did not.

[00:09:09] You get to feel the sun on your skin today.

[00:09:11] Your son does not.

[00:09:13] What are you going to do with all the pain, the trauma and the grief

[00:09:16] and everything you've been through?

[00:09:18] And how are you going to use that as a fuel to help impact others?

[00:09:23] And I realized this wasn't about me anymore.

[00:09:25] This was about others.

[00:09:27] And that's where my mission in life became very clear

[00:09:30] that I wanted to impact at least one person for at least one day,

[00:09:33] for every day that I'm breathing.

[00:09:35] And I've never looked back.

[00:09:37] And when you make it about others and you stop making it about yourself,

[00:09:40] the whole game changes and you realize you realize what's truly important in life.

[00:09:46] And that's where I realized looking back when I started to reverse engineer

[00:09:50] how I got to where I got to every single day of my life,

[00:09:53] even given the prior traumas I'd been through,

[00:09:56] which again, you can read about them in the book.

[00:09:59] But I realized that, yes, I have used grit to push through a lot of those hard times,

[00:10:07] but I wasn't able to push and use what I call that G in my grit when my son passed.

[00:10:14] And the G in my grit system stands for get it done.

[00:10:17] And the archetype of that grit is a go-getter.

[00:10:21] Well, that's who I naturally am.

[00:10:23] But I wasn't able to just pick myself up and brush myself off and say,

[00:10:26] OK, let's move on next day.

[00:10:28] Wasn't as simple as that because I'm human and I have emotions

[00:10:32] and there is emotions attached to that.

[00:10:34] Now, I've learned how to repurpose those emotions and use them as a fuel.

[00:10:37] And that's actually what I had to do.

[00:10:39] I started having to reframe how I thought about the situation.

[00:10:42] And that's when it dawned on me, oh, my gosh,

[00:10:45] the R in grit is reframe thinking.

[00:10:48] And so the archetype of that grit is a reframer.

[00:10:52] And so I started to realize that if I am able to reframe how I think about the situation,

[00:10:57] it's not just going to impact me, but it's going to impact those around me.

[00:11:01] See, I have living children and a family.

[00:11:03] And so, you know, and I had a company, I was a leader of an organization

[00:11:08] where I had to put food on the table for these people, right?

[00:11:12] They had to feed their kids.

[00:11:13] I mean, I had a tremendous responsibility on my shoulders all while going through

[00:11:18] this incredible tragedy and this trauma and this grief and trying to navigate through it.

[00:11:23] Well, I realized that if I started saying look,

[00:11:26] instead of saying, look what happened to me, I would say, look what revealed me.

[00:11:30] Instead of saying, look what was taken from me, I'd say, look what was given to me.

[00:11:34] And when you start to say those things out loud,

[00:11:36] you actually have a physiological response.

[00:11:38] And so your brain starts to rewire those feelings

[00:11:42] that you're now communicating to your body in a positive manner

[00:11:47] instead of having a negative connotation to it.

[00:11:50] Now, there's nothing positive about losing a child, right?

[00:11:52] That's not what I'm saying here.

[00:11:54] What I'm saying is I couldn't bring my son back.

[00:11:57] So I can't dwell on what I can't change.

[00:12:00] But what I can focus on is how I react to it.

[00:12:03] See, I can feel what I want to feel.

[00:12:05] And I full heartedly want people to be able to acknowledge those feelings

[00:12:10] when they're going through any type of change,

[00:12:11] no matter how challenging or not, right?

[00:12:13] No matter the severity of the adversity.

[00:12:16] But you can feel what you feel.

[00:12:18] But how you choose to react to that is your choice.

[00:12:21] And so if you're given the tools and strategies

[00:12:22] to know how to do that and how to master it,

[00:12:25] then you'll be able to grip through anything.

[00:12:28] And so that's what I did.

[00:12:29] I started to pull from the R in my grip.

[00:12:31] I started to reframe how I looked at the situation.

[00:12:34] And then I realized by doing so,

[00:12:36] I wasn't just impacting myself,

[00:12:38] I was impacting so many others around me.

[00:12:40] And that's where the innovation came in.

[00:12:42] I started to be able to innovate my way out of challenges

[00:12:45] so they didn't become challenges anymore,

[00:12:47] they became opportunities.

[00:12:48] And the R in my grip is all about impacting others.

[00:12:51] And the archetype of that is the innovator.

[00:12:55] And so then I realized, wow,

[00:12:57] through going through this process and the system,

[00:13:00] I have to take responsibility.

[00:13:02] I have to take full ownership

[00:13:05] of everything that I'm learning and what I'm doing

[00:13:08] and start this whole process all over again

[00:13:10] when I've reached a growth level

[00:13:14] which has now become my new comfort level.

[00:13:16] And I have to restart the process over and over.

[00:13:18] And I thought, if I can do this,

[00:13:19] I can teach others how to do this.

[00:13:20] And so that's the T in my grip is take responsibility

[00:13:23] because every action that you take,

[00:13:24] every inaction that you take, it has consequences.

[00:13:28] So it is up to you to ensure

[00:13:30] that everything that you're doing,

[00:13:31] how is it impacting others?

[00:13:33] How are you reframing the situation

[00:13:35] and how are you just getting it done?

[00:13:37] And when I started looking at that acronym

[00:13:39] and that system that I created

[00:13:41] and the types of grit that people are,

[00:13:44] I realized that everybody has grit.

[00:13:47] They just have different levels of it.

[00:13:49] So how do we start to understand

[00:13:52] which grit type we are?

[00:13:55] And that's actually what is about to be released

[00:13:57] but it's called the grit type indicator

[00:13:59] and it's an assessment that assesses

[00:14:01] from a percentage standpoint,

[00:14:02] how gritty you are in specific situations,

[00:14:05] I mean the G, the R, the I or the T.

[00:14:07] And it just allows not just you,

[00:14:10] like you as an individual,

[00:14:11] but people around you, teams even, right?

[00:14:14] Companies, they actually can see,

[00:14:16] do we have the right type of grit in the right seats?

[00:14:20] There's no right or wrong.

[00:14:21] It's just, do we have the right grit

[00:14:24] in those particular seats?

[00:14:25] Because it looks different for different departments

[00:14:27] within organizations.

[00:14:29] And so the more you understand that,

[00:14:30] the more that people understand that they do have grit,

[00:14:33] because most people think that it's innate

[00:14:36] so you either have it or you don't.

[00:14:38] Well, it is innate because we're born with it

[00:14:40] because as babies, we have to learn how to crawl,

[00:14:42] we have to learn how to walk,

[00:14:43] we have to learn how to talk, right?

[00:14:44] How many times did we fall down as children

[00:14:47] and get back up again?

[00:14:48] So many we can't remember.

[00:14:49] But over time, we start to lose it

[00:14:52] if we don't put ourselves in environments

[00:14:54] or situations that allow us to be able to harness it.

[00:14:57] You see grit's a muscle, right?

[00:14:58] So it can be grown.

[00:15:00] It's like anything, as an athlete,

[00:15:01] if I go and train and become really great at something,

[00:15:05] I don't wanna lose that.

[00:15:06] I wanna keep growing and growing.

[00:15:08] If I decide not to go to training for a few weeks,

[00:15:11] well, that muscle that I've been training

[00:15:13] may start to weaken.

[00:15:15] It's the same with our grit, right?

[00:15:17] When we put ourselves in an environment

[00:15:20] to have the autonomy to learn

[00:15:21] in the way that we want to learn,

[00:15:24] that's where the self-belief comes in.

[00:15:26] And most people don't, they fail to realize

[00:15:28] there's three different learning styles.

[00:15:30] We learn through vision, we learn through listening,

[00:15:33] and we also learn through practical skills.

[00:15:35] And so if we have to ensure that we hit all three,

[00:15:39] whether it's music speaker on stage,

[00:15:42] whether it's through programs, workshops,

[00:15:43] whatever type of programs, leadership programs,

[00:15:45] whatever it is that people are going through,

[00:15:48] you have to hit all three.

[00:15:51] Otherwise they're gonna leave maybe feeling inspired,

[00:15:53] but not necessarily empowered.

[00:15:55] And so a few months down the line

[00:15:57] when they've got that challenge that they're faced with,

[00:15:59] they should be able to recall immediately

[00:16:01] which tool to pull out of the tool bag

[00:16:03] that you've taught them.

[00:16:05] And so that's what my job is, right?

[00:16:07] It's my responsibility to ensure

[00:16:09] that I hit all three learning styles

[00:16:11] and teach them how to use their grit

[00:16:13] in specific different challenges in their life.

[00:16:16] And it doesn't have to be as severe

[00:16:18] as what I've gone through with losing a child, right?

[00:16:20] It can be you've got some conflict

[00:16:21] that you're trying to resolve,

[00:16:23] whether it's at home or at work.

[00:16:25] You know, perhaps there's change coming.

[00:16:28] You know, there's, I mean, change is inevitable.

[00:16:30] Change is always around us.

[00:16:32] It's always gonna hit us.

[00:16:33] Are our team members prepared for it?

[00:16:35] Are our family members prepared for it?

[00:16:37] How do we navigate through that?

[00:16:39] Because there's always a path.

[00:16:41] There's always a path.

[00:16:42] We just have to believe and understand

[00:16:45] that there is a way through.

[00:16:49] And when you can believe it,

[00:16:50] that's when you're motivated to keep going.

[00:16:52] And the motivation helps influence how you think.

[00:16:55] And when you influence your cognition,

[00:16:57] that's when you're able to actually alter

[00:17:01] your brain processes.

[00:17:02] So you're literally rewiring the brain.

[00:17:04] That leads to a growth mindset.

[00:17:06] And then when you've been able to adopt a growth mindset,

[00:17:10] you're now able to apply the very thing

[00:17:12] that you're trying to learn in the first place.

[00:17:14] I actually do talk about that.

[00:17:15] It's in chapter five of my book,

[00:17:16] Can't To Be Hunted,

[00:17:17] but I do actually talk about that.

[00:17:19] But it is, I mean, everything's scientifically backed

[00:17:21] and it is a process, right?

[00:17:24] But we have to follow it.

[00:17:25] We have to have discipline to follow it.

[00:17:27] Yeah, yeah.

[00:17:28] So this is all very interesting

[00:17:31] and very related to a lot of the work that I've done

[00:17:33] and a lot of the work that many educators

[00:17:36] are doing with entrepreneurship students.

[00:17:39] A book I wrote a couple of years ago

[00:17:41] is called, See Do Repeat.

[00:17:42] And when I heard you talk about learning to walk,

[00:17:44] it's the same philosophy.

[00:17:47] I did many years of research on competencies

[00:17:51] for entrepreneurs.

[00:17:52] And I talk about competencies rather than just mindset

[00:17:55] because that's the mind behavior connection, competencies.

[00:18:00] And in that,

[00:18:05] that See Do Repeat stands for seeing opportunities,

[00:18:09] being willing to take action and executing past failures.

[00:18:13] So I could see where your grit model

[00:18:16] could be very helpful for a lot of the people

[00:18:19] that are trying to start a business, entrepreneurs,

[00:18:24] or people that are in the throes of starting

[00:18:28] or running a business because there's always failure,

[00:18:31] there's always challenges.

[00:18:33] And I love the way you've put your model together.

[00:18:39] There were several things in there

[00:18:40] I wanted to kind of dig into.

[00:18:42] You talked a lot about the importance

[00:18:45] of really having a purpose.

[00:18:49] When you talked about taking it,

[00:18:53] it's not about ourselves, but about others

[00:18:56] and having that purpose.

[00:18:59] And I work with a lot of young people who say,

[00:19:02] I have no idea what my purpose is.

[00:19:05] And your story is an interesting one

[00:19:07] because as you pointed out,

[00:19:09] you didn't go out and seek grit, it found you.

[00:19:12] And so talk to us a little bit about

[00:19:16] how you think about that, about finding,

[00:19:19] if you're coaching or working with someone young

[00:19:22] and they're not sure what their purpose is in life,

[00:19:26] how do you help them think about that?

[00:19:29] I start to challenge them in terms of

[00:19:32] I want them to choose their own grit.

[00:19:34] So even though I went through my life

[00:19:36] not choosing my own grit until eight years ago

[00:19:39] when I came to this country,

[00:19:40] I wish I had chosen my grit sooner

[00:19:43] instead of allowing grit to choose me.

[00:19:45] So if I were to talk to my younger self

[00:19:47] or if there's a member in the audience listening

[00:19:49] who say they're just starting out

[00:19:53] and they're just leaving university,

[00:19:54] just starting out in their career,

[00:19:56] but they still are not fully sure what their purpose is.

[00:19:59] I say it does come in time, right?

[00:20:01] It's not necessarily something

[00:20:03] that you just know immediately.

[00:20:05] I think it's something that you find out

[00:20:07] through going through grit.

[00:20:09] And that's why it's so important to choose your own grit.

[00:20:11] Now I'm not suggesting you choose grit

[00:20:13] that's gonna put your life in danger

[00:20:14] or do anything crazy like that.

[00:20:16] But I'm suggesting like, for example, as an athlete

[00:20:19] I have chosen every single day

[00:20:22] to train at a very intense level

[00:20:24] to the point where I compete nationally.

[00:20:26] In fact, not just nationally, but worldwide.

[00:20:29] And that is a grit that most people

[00:20:32] probably wouldn't want to go down the path of

[00:20:34] because it's hard, right?

[00:20:36] So why do we make a decision to not choose grit?

[00:20:40] Because we feel better in our comfort zone, right?

[00:20:43] We feel safer in our comfort zone.

[00:20:44] So what I would say is I wanna challenge you

[00:20:47] to break out of that mold.

[00:20:49] Do something that's really uncomfortable.

[00:20:50] The one thing that you've been putting off

[00:20:52] that you know you need to do,

[00:20:54] take action on it and just do it.

[00:20:56] And if you fail, so what?

[00:20:58] You get back up, you learn, right?

[00:21:00] If you'll never get to where you wanna be

[00:21:02] without having failures, I can guarantee you that.

[00:21:04] Every successful person that you speak with

[00:21:06] will tell you the same thing.

[00:21:08] If anyone thinks that they got to where I am today

[00:21:10] without having setbacks and falling down

[00:21:13] and failing, they're mistaken

[00:21:15] because I definitely had that.

[00:21:17] I still do, right?

[00:21:19] You learn from it.

[00:21:20] And every time you fall back down, you get back up.

[00:21:23] You get back up stronger because now you're equipped

[00:21:25] with some tools to know, okay,

[00:21:27] if this happens again, I know not to do this.

[00:21:29] I'm gonna do this.

[00:21:31] And so yes, it comes in time,

[00:21:32] but I will highly encourage anyone

[00:21:36] that is unsure of what their purpose is

[00:21:39] or what it is they really wanna do

[00:21:41] or if they wanna make an impact in the world,

[00:21:43] what does that look like?

[00:21:45] I would say you've got to surround yourself

[00:21:47] with people that have either done

[00:21:49] what you're thinking of doing

[00:21:51] or that are at a higher level than what you're doing.

[00:21:55] And just surround yourself in a culture of excellence.

[00:21:59] Surround yourself with other people

[00:22:02] that can push you to do those hard things,

[00:22:04] whether that's through mentorship,

[00:22:06] whether through a coach,

[00:22:08] whether it's friends that you're around,

[00:22:10] whoever it is that you wanna surround yourself with,

[00:22:13] ensure that they are the ones that are gonna push you

[00:22:17] because when the going gets tough,

[00:22:19] you do not want someone to say,

[00:22:20] oh, that's okay, you can give up if you want.

[00:22:22] I don't believe in that.

[00:22:24] I don't believe in that.

[00:22:25] I think if the going gets tough,

[00:22:26] you want someone who's gonna put their hand out

[00:22:28] and say, here, I got you.

[00:22:29] I'm gonna help you.

[00:22:30] Let's go.

[00:22:32] So yeah, you talked about people.

[00:22:34] This is, I think the second time you mentioned

[00:22:36] the importance of other people

[00:22:38] and working with people.

[00:22:39] So how do you think about finding the right people

[00:22:43] to work with?

[00:22:44] I mean, what do you look for?

[00:22:46] Obviously, I'm sure there are a lot of people

[00:22:49] in your network, but what do you look for

[00:22:51] in terms of finding those people

[00:22:53] that maybe you let into your closest inner circle

[00:22:57] or that you might have looked to over the years

[00:23:00] as mentors yourself?

[00:23:03] Well, one of my very first mentors I had

[00:23:04] was actually the owner of a company

[00:23:06] that I worked for over in England.

[00:23:09] And I was a young 21-year-old at the time,

[00:23:14] and I was quite ballsy even back then,

[00:23:17] and there was something I didn't agree with.

[00:23:19] And I went to his office, knocked on his door,

[00:23:21] and I basically said, hey,

[00:23:22] I think that we can do this differently.

[00:23:25] And I talked to him about the situation,

[00:23:27] and I told him, and I said, just let me at it.

[00:23:29] Let me have this challenge.

[00:23:30] And so he did.

[00:23:31] And he gave me, because I challenged someone

[00:23:36] that was much more senior to me

[00:23:38] that had been doing this for 20-plus years.

[00:23:41] And here I was, this young whippestapper

[00:23:43] coming out of university,

[00:23:44] walking into his office saying,

[00:23:46] I think we can do it a different way.

[00:23:48] And I think this way could actually work out

[00:23:51] a little better.

[00:23:51] You've got to trust me on it.

[00:23:53] Because I had the courage to challenge

[00:23:56] someone that was senior,

[00:23:57] I didn't look at them as though they were necessarily

[00:24:01] better than me in a lot of ways.

[00:24:02] I just saw them as someone

[00:24:04] that was extremely experienced.

[00:24:06] And so what I brought to the table

[00:24:07] may not have been the experience,

[00:24:09] but I brought new innovation.

[00:24:11] I brought new ideas because some of his ideas

[00:24:13] were 20-plus years old.

[00:24:14] My ideas were very fresh.

[00:24:16] And so I had the courage to challenge.

[00:24:18] And because of that,

[00:24:19] that particular mentor of mine

[00:24:21] gave me the opportunity,

[00:24:23] which gave me the belief

[00:24:25] that I could go out and do it,

[00:24:26] which motivated me to go and do it.

[00:24:28] And that slowly started to influence

[00:24:30] how not just I thought,

[00:24:31] but other people around me thought.

[00:24:33] So I think it's about finding the people

[00:24:35] that are experienced.

[00:24:36] Doesn't mean that they're better or worse than you,

[00:24:39] it just means they are more experienced.

[00:24:41] In most cases,

[00:24:42] they are going to be much more successful than you

[00:24:44] because they do have that experience under their belt.

[00:24:48] I remember seeking out CEOs of some top companies

[00:24:52] and you might think,

[00:24:53] well, how do you get in front of them?

[00:24:55] How do you even get access to them?

[00:24:57] People love to be asked for help.

[00:25:00] And so as a young woman,

[00:25:03] I did not hesitate to reach out

[00:25:05] to some very senior people

[00:25:08] that I didn't really know.

[00:25:10] They may have known someone I knew

[00:25:12] or I just asked people to introduce me

[00:25:15] to other people in their network

[00:25:16] and eventually I was in front of them.

[00:25:19] But the way that I did that

[00:25:20] is because I wanted to ensure

[00:25:23] that I was gonna be surrounded

[00:25:25] with people that could help me.

[00:25:27] I wasn't looking for handouts.

[00:25:29] I wasn't looking for people

[00:25:30] to just bail me out of situations.

[00:25:32] I wasn't looking for any,

[00:25:33] I just wanted to learn

[00:25:35] from some of the best in the industry.

[00:25:37] And so, in fact, I do a lot of this work myself.

[00:25:40] I do some pro bono work

[00:25:42] for a very large nonprofit called Warrior Rising

[00:25:45] and I sit on their advisory board

[00:25:47] and I actually help veterans

[00:25:49] that transition out of military

[00:25:51] and start their own businesses.

[00:25:53] So we call them veteran entrepreneurs, right?

[00:25:56] So they're entrepreneurs that were veterans

[00:25:58] that are transitioning.

[00:26:00] And it's incredible when you see them

[00:26:02] and some of them are not older than me

[00:26:06] but they're not looking at me as,

[00:26:08] oh, because I'm young, I'm not as experienced

[00:26:10] or because I wasn't in the military,

[00:26:11] I don't understand their life.

[00:26:13] It doesn't work like that.

[00:26:16] There's a respect level

[00:26:17] of they bring something to the table,

[00:26:20] I bring something to the table

[00:26:21] and it's what can we do with the two

[00:26:25] meeting in the middle?

[00:26:26] How do we make that mesh, right?

[00:26:28] How do we ensure that you gain strength from that?

[00:26:31] And this is also actually an important point

[00:26:34] because a lot of people will come to me

[00:26:35] and say, well, I'm really weak in this area.

[00:26:37] And I say, well, what are your strengths?

[00:26:39] Because I want to focus on the strengths.

[00:26:40] I believe in strength-based coaching.

[00:26:42] So I want to focus on the strengths,

[00:26:44] really get those strong.

[00:26:46] And then I can say, we can work

[00:26:47] on some of the weaknesses

[00:26:48] but then I say, well, who around you do you have?

[00:26:50] What are their strengths?

[00:26:51] Because if you've got some weakness

[00:26:53] but you've got an incredible support network

[00:26:56] or what I call your culture of excellence,

[00:26:58] if you've got individuals around you

[00:26:59] that are strong in the areas that you are weak

[00:27:02] then pull from those, right?

[00:27:03] That's where people come in.

[00:27:05] You don't get to where you are alone, right?

[00:27:09] My book's called Hunter Be Hunted

[00:27:10] and I talk about becoming a hunter versus being hunted

[00:27:14] with the moment that you stop protecting your pride

[00:27:17] as I call it, or you try to go out on your own

[00:27:20] as a lone wolf, you're eventually going to become hunted

[00:27:23] because you're going to have so many others around you

[00:27:26] that are learning how to be the hunters.

[00:27:29] And so they are going to be on top of their game

[00:27:31] whereas you might get to where you want to be

[00:27:34] on your own, it will take you a heck of a long time

[00:27:37] and you're going to have a heck of a lot more failures.

[00:27:39] So why not pull from the strengths of others?

[00:27:42] And that's how you actually strengthen those weaknesses

[00:27:45] because you learn from them.

[00:27:47] So it's incredibly important

[00:27:49] that you surround yourself with those types of people

[00:27:52] and don't be afraid to ask.

[00:27:54] Don't be afraid to ask for help.

[00:27:55] Even if you think that person's out of reach,

[00:27:57] they're not, they're human.

[00:28:00] They're a person just like you.

[00:28:02] They're not better or worse.

[00:28:03] They're just different, right?

[00:28:05] They've just gone about the way they've done

[00:28:06] business life differently.

[00:28:09] So learn from that.

[00:28:11] I think that's all great advice

[00:28:13] and I love that you talk about the reciprocity

[00:28:16] of the relationship because it is two people

[00:28:19] coming together and I know some of the people

[00:28:21] that I've mentored over the years,

[00:28:23] I've learned as much from

[00:28:25] as they've been able to learn from me.

[00:28:27] So I think it works both ways and it's a mutual respect

[00:28:31] and that's kind of how you get the most out of it.

[00:28:34] So great advice on that.

[00:28:36] Let's switch gears a little bit

[00:28:37] and talk about building your company and your brand.

[00:28:43] So you're obviously very accomplished.

[00:28:47] You're a consultant, a speaker, a book author.

[00:28:52] You've had other business experience

[00:28:54] and entrepreneurial experience.

[00:28:56] How do you think about building your brand?

[00:28:59] And in particular, today,

[00:29:02] and we live in a world where digital marketing

[00:29:06] is incredibly important.

[00:29:10] So for those people who are interested

[00:29:13] in building their own brands,

[00:29:15] can you provide some thoughts on what you've done,

[00:29:18] what hasn't worked?

[00:29:21] I'm gonna have one word for this, authenticity.

[00:29:26] It is huge, right?

[00:29:27] You have to be authentic.

[00:29:30] You've got to be yourself.

[00:29:31] See, most people make the mistake

[00:29:33] when they start branding,

[00:29:34] they'll brand the company or the company name,

[00:29:36] even if it's just you as an individual

[00:29:38] or even if you've only got a few people on the team.

[00:29:41] So as an entrepreneur,

[00:29:42] they tend to focus more on the company name

[00:29:44] and the company rather than you yourself.

[00:29:46] That's a mistake.

[00:29:47] You should actually focus on you as the entrepreneur

[00:29:51] to show people that you are authentic

[00:29:53] and what does authenticity do?

[00:29:55] It builds trust.

[00:29:57] So why do people wanna do business with you?

[00:29:59] Because they trust you.

[00:30:00] You could have the best product,

[00:30:02] the best service in the world,

[00:30:03] but if they don't like you and they don't trust you,

[00:30:05] they're never gonna do business with you.

[00:30:07] And so you have to ensure

[00:30:09] that you are showing people, listen,

[00:30:11] I do this because I'm doing it for you.

[00:30:13] That's 100% what I do, right?

[00:30:15] I changed everything about my life

[00:30:18] when my son passed.

[00:30:19] And I just said, that's it.

[00:30:20] I'm focusing on other people.

[00:30:21] I've been given a second chance to live.

[00:30:23] I'm not gonna waste it.

[00:30:25] And so therefore,

[00:30:25] when you start putting other people

[00:30:27] in front of your own needs

[00:30:30] and you actually realize,

[00:30:31] how can I help this person?

[00:30:33] That's where the trust builds.

[00:30:35] And actually it's so incredibly satisfying

[00:30:37] for you as an individual

[00:30:38] to know that you've helped that person, right?

[00:30:42] And so authenticity is a big key to branding.

[00:30:47] And ensuring that you stay true to who you are

[00:30:50] and understand what you're an expert in.

[00:30:52] This is where a lot of people kind of tend to fall down.

[00:30:54] I'll say, well, who are you?

[00:30:55] What do you do?

[00:30:56] Some people will say,

[00:30:58] I'll give their job title as an example.

[00:31:01] I'm like, that doesn't really tell me who you are.

[00:31:03] That's just a title.

[00:31:05] So let's not hide behind titles.

[00:31:07] I wanna know who you are.

[00:31:08] So when people ask Lara,

[00:31:10] what is it that you do?

[00:31:11] I tell them, I say,

[00:31:12] I'm a leadership performance

[00:31:14] and a grit development expert.

[00:31:17] Usually it gets them questioning like,

[00:31:18] oh, what is that about?

[00:31:19] What is the grit development side?

[00:31:21] See, most people talk about grit,

[00:31:22] but they don't talk about developing it.

[00:31:24] And that's where I immediately stand out.

[00:31:27] So as an entrepreneur,

[00:31:28] you have to understand how are you different?

[00:31:31] If I just said I'm a leadership performance expert,

[00:31:33] well, there's so many people out there

[00:31:34] that do leadership performance.

[00:31:36] I don't just work with leaders though.

[00:31:38] I work with sales teams.

[00:31:39] I work with operations.

[00:31:40] I work with a whole ton of different divisions

[00:31:43] in companies.

[00:31:44] But what I focus on is developing grit

[00:31:48] in those people,

[00:31:49] in those companies,

[00:31:50] in those teams.

[00:31:51] So as an entrepreneur,

[00:31:52] when you're starting out your brand,

[00:31:54] really understand which category you're in.

[00:31:56] Create your own category.

[00:31:58] Like there's a lot of people out there

[00:31:59] that talk about grit,

[00:32:01] but there's no one out there

[00:32:01] talking about developing it.

[00:32:03] So I've created my own category

[00:32:05] and that's part of branding, right?

[00:32:06] I've branded myself as Lara Jones,

[00:32:08] the expert in grit development.

[00:32:10] So when anyone thinks we need more grit in our team,

[00:32:14] Lara Jones, right?

[00:32:16] That's how branding works.

[00:32:17] They think when you start to have one specific word

[00:32:21] that you attach to your brand,

[00:32:23] so for me it's grit, right?

[00:32:25] When you start using a word

[00:32:26] that attaches to your brand,

[00:32:28] people are gonna remember you more.

[00:32:29] You wanna be authentic.

[00:32:30] You wanna show people the real you.

[00:32:32] Why do I talk about my athleticism, right?

[00:32:35] Because it shows a different side of me.

[00:32:36] Why do I talk about my book?

[00:32:38] It shows a different side of me on the north of there.

[00:32:39] Why do I talk sometimes about my children?

[00:32:41] It shows a different side.

[00:32:42] Why do I talk about the grief I went through?

[00:32:45] It's showing all different avenues

[00:32:46] and faces of who Lara Jones is

[00:32:49] because I'm not just one side, right?

[00:32:52] I'm multiple different sides of, you know,

[00:32:55] and when it comes together,

[00:32:57] that's who Lara Jones is.

[00:32:58] That's what makes up my brand.

[00:33:01] And so authenticity is absolutely key.

[00:33:04] People will be able to sniff through

[00:33:07] and see through any fakeness or falseness.

[00:33:11] I'm not a fan of it.

[00:33:12] I like people to be real with me.

[00:33:15] I've even said to people when they've met with me,

[00:33:16] or they're trying to sell to me,

[00:33:18] I just cut through all of it and I say,

[00:33:21] who are you?

[00:33:22] Who am I really dealing with?

[00:33:24] Because I wanna know,

[00:33:24] I wanna see behind the curtains, right?

[00:33:26] I wanna see behind that,

[00:33:28] like peeling back that onion.

[00:33:29] I wanna see who am I really, really dealing with here

[00:33:32] because that person I might want a long relationship with

[00:33:36] from a business standpoint

[00:33:37] and therefore I need to know

[00:33:39] how they react in certain situations,

[00:33:41] how they've approached life.

[00:33:42] What have they done in this situation?

[00:33:44] What have they done in that situation?

[00:33:46] So I know it's quite a long answer for what you asked me,

[00:33:49] but the key word here is authenticity

[00:33:52] because you've got to be able to build trust.

[00:33:54] So focus on who you are and show people the real you.

[00:33:57] They wanna know the person behind the brand.

[00:34:00] They don't just wanna see the company name, right?

[00:34:02] Because anyone can hide behind that.

[00:34:04] They wanna know who you are.

[00:34:06] Yeah, yeah.

[00:34:07] And I've heard that your advice about building

[00:34:09] as an entrepreneur, building your brand, personal brand,

[00:34:14] not just your company brand, the importance of that.

[00:34:16] I love that.

[00:34:17] So how about having a conversation with your community

[00:34:24] and even preceding that knowing who your community is?

[00:34:29] What kind of process did you go through

[00:34:31] to figure out your market

[00:34:34] and how do you encourage a relationship,

[00:34:39] which is kind of what we have to think about today

[00:34:42] I think in digital marketing?

[00:34:45] Yeah, it's a good question.

[00:34:46] So a lot of it as well is you don't quite know

[00:34:50] when you're starting out, right?

[00:34:51] You don't quite know.

[00:34:52] And so some people will hold back

[00:34:54] and try to find the information out before they start.

[00:34:57] Others will just go for it

[00:34:58] and figure it out as they go along.

[00:35:00] I'm kind of the lesser one, right?

[00:35:01] I like to just say yes, do it anyway

[00:35:04] and figure it out later.

[00:35:05] So for myself, it was,

[00:35:08] I knew that a lot of people out there

[00:35:10] struggled with the grid.

[00:35:11] I had so many different conversations with people

[00:35:12] prior to launching this side.

[00:35:15] But truthfully, it was when I went through

[00:35:17] my horrific trauma that I realized

[00:35:22] and I was brave enough to come out

[00:35:24] with what had happened because I will be honest

[00:35:27] as a woman and a leader,

[00:35:29] I was a little nervous about coming out

[00:35:31] with what I've been through

[00:35:32] because I didn't wanna be seen as weak, right?

[00:35:34] As a mother that had lost a child,

[00:35:38] I'm gonna be incredibly emotional about it

[00:35:41] and so I didn't wanna be seen as weak.

[00:35:43] Well, I decided to say,

[00:35:45] and that was four months later,

[00:35:46] I just decided it doesn't matter

[00:35:49] if people think that or not

[00:35:50] because if they think that

[00:35:51] they're not the right audience for me, right?

[00:35:53] They're not the right people.

[00:35:54] In fact, they've actually got a fixed mindset.

[00:35:57] So the people that I was trying to go after,

[00:36:01] if you will, or really get them to understand

[00:36:04] that more is possible

[00:36:06] are the ones that actually do have

[00:36:08] a growth mindset in them.

[00:36:10] They just didn't have the tools necessary

[00:36:12] to know how to get there

[00:36:13] and now the ones that,

[00:36:14] and don't get me wrong,

[00:36:15] I do come across those individuals

[00:36:17] that have a fixed mindset.

[00:36:18] It just takes longer with them, right?

[00:36:20] It would take a number of sessions

[00:36:21] for them to truly understand

[00:36:24] how they can break out of that.

[00:36:25] Now when I keynote speak,

[00:36:26] it's incredible because sometimes

[00:36:28] I'm talking in front of thousands,

[00:36:29] sometimes it's a few hundred,

[00:36:31] sometimes it's a small group,

[00:36:32] like it's only 50

[00:36:33] and you don't really know

[00:36:34] who's sitting in the audience.

[00:36:35] You don't know how many have a growth mindset,

[00:36:37] how many have a fix

[00:36:39] but I can guarantee you this,

[00:36:40] at the end,

[00:36:40] everybody is intrigued, right?

[00:36:42] I have so many people come up to me

[00:36:43] and they ask me about it.

[00:36:45] And so I think that it's something

[00:36:48] that you start to learn

[00:36:50] as you go through the journey,

[00:36:51] as you're going through the process

[00:36:52] and not gonna get it right immediately.

[00:36:55] And this is the thing as an entrepreneur,

[00:36:57] you continually have to innovate.

[00:37:00] You have to pull from the iron grip

[00:37:01] because if what you're developing

[00:37:04] or producing or selling,

[00:37:06] whatever it is as an entrepreneur,

[00:37:07] whatever it is that you're trying to do,

[00:37:08] you've always got to remember

[00:37:10] how is this gonna impact others?

[00:37:13] Always keep that at the forefront of your mind

[00:37:15] because it's not about you,

[00:37:16] it's about others.

[00:37:18] So the more that you think

[00:37:20] how is this gonna impact this particular audience,

[00:37:22] you start to narrow down

[00:37:25] who your target market actually is.

[00:37:27] For me,

[00:37:28] I don't work in any specific industry.

[00:37:30] I've worked with the financial sector,

[00:37:32] I've worked in healthcare,

[00:37:35] I've worked in the tech industry,

[00:37:37] I've worked in the law firm,

[00:37:38] I've worked in a lot of different industries.

[00:37:42] So you've got to say to yourself,

[00:37:44] is it industry specific?

[00:37:46] Is it people specific?

[00:37:48] Is it job titles, positions?

[00:37:52] Or is it,

[00:37:54] is the impact that you're gonna make for society?

[00:37:57] So you have to really kind of gauge

[00:38:01] where is the biggest impact going to be

[00:38:03] and then address a model

[00:38:05] with how you're going to achieve that.

[00:38:07] So obviously you could have a business plan

[00:38:09] of how you're gonna achieve that,

[00:38:10] but you've got to start narrowing down

[00:38:12] who is my target market.

[00:38:13] If you are sort of all over the place

[00:38:15] and you're just, you're trying to do everything,

[00:38:18] then you're not really an expert.

[00:38:19] When you say you're an expert in something,

[00:38:21] you gotta stick to that.

[00:38:23] So somebody comes to me and wants me to teach,

[00:38:25] I don't know,

[00:38:26] I can't think of something off the top of my head,

[00:38:27] but if someone wants me to teach something about,

[00:38:30] something in tech,

[00:38:32] something very technical,

[00:38:34] maybe with AI or something,

[00:38:36] no, I'm not the person to do that.

[00:38:38] I'm a grit development expert,

[00:38:39] so I'm gonna stick to that.

[00:38:40] And it's okay to say no, right?

[00:38:43] And that's I think a lot of entrepreneurs

[00:38:44] get scared of doing is they're afraid to say no,

[00:38:47] because in the entrepreneur world,

[00:38:50] you know, you can have ups and downs

[00:38:51] and you don't always know where the next,

[00:38:52] you know, check's coming in from.

[00:38:54] But you've got to understand that if you don't say no,

[00:38:58] you're harming yourself.

[00:38:59] The elimination is the key to success.

[00:39:02] The more you learn how to eliminate unnecessary tasks

[00:39:06] or saying no to an opportunity that when you look at it

[00:39:10] on a bigger scale,

[00:39:11] probably isn't gonna be much of an opportunity

[00:39:13] that's actually gonna hinder you.

[00:39:14] It becomes empowering the more that you realize

[00:39:18] as you're using these particular tools,

[00:39:21] all of a sudden you're like, wow,

[00:39:22] I'm sticking to my path

[00:39:24] and I'm able to just get rid of the distractions

[00:39:27] and focus on the end goal.

[00:39:29] And you will get there,

[00:39:31] but you've got to have the discipline to stay on that path

[00:39:34] and ignore the distractions, right?

[00:39:35] Cause you're gonna get people coming in trying to,

[00:39:37] oh, here's some candy over here.

[00:39:39] Here's some candy here.

[00:39:40] And you know, it's like shiny object syndrome.

[00:39:42] You get, you know, there's a lot of people out there

[00:39:43] that do that.

[00:39:44] You have to remain disciplined

[00:39:46] and ensure that you have a plan and action

[00:39:49] of how you're going to eliminate those distractions

[00:39:52] because they will happen.

[00:39:53] They will happen.

[00:39:55] That's great advice.

[00:39:56] I mean, I think it can be summed up

[00:39:58] the creating value in a niche, right?

[00:40:01] The riches are in the niches, I think.

[00:40:04] It's sometimes said.

[00:40:06] Yeah, but you know, creating value in that niche

[00:40:09] and staying focused on it.

[00:40:11] And that is so hard if you love opportunity

[00:40:14] and you get excited by opportunity.

[00:40:17] I know personally that's always been a struggle for me.

[00:40:19] That bright shiny object, you know, syndrome,

[00:40:23] but that's, I think that's such great, great advice.

[00:40:26] You know, I have to ask you

[00:40:28] because it's clear that you have pushed through

[00:40:32] and persevered in many, many instances in your life.

[00:40:38] But when are, are there times

[00:40:40] that we need to stop to give up?

[00:40:42] And you kind of alluded to, you know,

[00:40:45] that when you talked about trying

[00:40:48] a lot of different things, but how,

[00:40:51] when do we know or is there a time that we stop,

[00:40:54] that we give up?

[00:40:55] And what does that look like?

[00:40:57] It's a really great question.

[00:40:58] I've actually been asked this before by people.

[00:41:00] They're like, well, what if you keep pushing

[00:41:02] and you just, nothing is changing.

[00:41:04] You've obviously got to be able to recognize

[00:41:06] when to change it.

[00:41:09] So it's not about giving up.

[00:41:11] It's about reframing it.

[00:41:12] So that's when I would pull from the R in grit.

[00:41:15] So if something is not working in a specific way

[00:41:17] and you've tried it multiple different times,

[00:41:19] then let's look at the situation again.

[00:41:21] Let's reframe and maybe we switch focus.

[00:41:25] So it's not about giving up or switching off.

[00:41:27] It's about switching your focus in that particular moment.

[00:41:31] Maybe the type of grit you're applying

[00:41:33] in that moment is not the correct one.

[00:41:36] And so how do you know if it's not the correct one?

[00:41:38] Well, if you keep failing at it, right?

[00:41:40] So therefore pull from the R in grit

[00:41:42] and reframe the situation.

[00:41:45] And that's where you've also got to pull from the I

[00:41:46] because you've got to learn how to innovate your way

[00:41:49] out of challenges.

[00:41:50] So it's not one or the other, right?

[00:41:52] It's not, okay, if I don't do this,

[00:41:54] I'm just going to give up.

[00:41:55] It's changing and reframing how you think about it.

[00:41:58] And I've always said that grit is not about running away

[00:42:01] from the situation.

[00:42:02] It's about changing your perspective

[00:42:04] in the midst of the situation.

[00:42:07] And the more that people remember that,

[00:42:09] the more that they can really pull from that thinking

[00:42:11] and say, okay, I'm going to reframe

[00:42:13] how I think about this,

[00:42:15] the more successful they will be.

[00:42:17] See when my son passed and I reframed everything

[00:42:19] and I started this whole journey on speaking worldwide

[00:42:24] and becoming an author.

[00:42:25] And don't get me wrong, when I wrote my book,

[00:42:27] I was also competing in a worldwide competition.

[00:42:30] I was running a business, I'm a mother of little children.

[00:42:34] And so when I was traveling, the pressure was on,

[00:42:38] but I didn't give up.

[00:42:40] I didn't give up.

[00:42:41] I learned how to time block.

[00:42:43] And I also ensured that the three pieces,

[00:42:48] very important to make up Lara,

[00:42:51] which is family, my athleticism and my business.

[00:42:55] All these three components,

[00:42:57] it just as important as each other.

[00:42:59] I ensured that I gave time to each one of those.

[00:43:01] And if I felt like it was a little bit off balance,

[00:43:03] then I would alter that.

[00:43:05] I would never give up though.

[00:43:07] And see, in fact, I've got a great brief story on this.

[00:43:11] So recently I just competed

[00:43:13] in another World Series fitness competition.

[00:43:17] It's called High Rocks.

[00:43:18] And I just competed in that.

[00:43:20] Now, I had been traveling so much.

[00:43:22] I'd have to, you know, March,

[00:43:24] I think I was here for only six days,

[00:43:27] you know, in the state that I live.

[00:43:28] And I was traveling all the remainder of the time.

[00:43:31] And April was equally a very busy month.

[00:43:33] And so therefore I wasn't able to train

[00:43:35] with my fellow athletes as much as I wanted to.

[00:43:38] I also was sick an awful lot, you know,

[00:43:40] because my immune system was a little lower.

[00:43:42] I've been pushing my body, you know, pretty frequently.

[00:43:45] And so I had to make a decision

[00:43:47] and take responsibility and say, okay,

[00:43:48] well the options are, you know,

[00:43:50] my doctor actually wanted me to pull out.

[00:43:51] She said, you know, you just, your body needs a rest.

[00:43:54] I said, I know, but instead of just

[00:43:55] pulling out completely and giving up,

[00:43:57] let's reframe it.

[00:43:58] Let's look at it differently.

[00:44:00] So instead of doing singles,

[00:44:01] I did doubles out there,

[00:44:03] which is a little different, right?

[00:44:04] I didn't have to do half the work.

[00:44:06] It's not easy because you go full athlete,

[00:44:09] you know, when it is your turn to race

[00:44:11] in that competition.

[00:44:13] But I just, I was able to find a happy medium.

[00:44:15] So I just reframed the situation.

[00:44:17] Instead of giving up completely and pulling out,

[00:44:20] I said, no, I'm still gonna do it.

[00:44:21] I still committed time to doing this.

[00:44:24] I still dedicated many hours of training to this.

[00:44:27] I'm not giving up.

[00:44:28] I'm just gonna do it as a double.

[00:44:29] And therefore it just gives my body

[00:44:32] that slight bit of rest in between the movements.

[00:44:34] So it's, you know, I can slow my heart rate

[00:44:36] from a zone five down to maybe a zone three

[00:44:38] or a zone two.

[00:44:40] And it just allows my body to not be as stressed.

[00:44:43] That's a perfect example of being able

[00:44:44] to reframe the situation instead

[00:44:46] of just giving up entirely.

[00:44:48] Or, you know, when I started the business,

[00:44:50] if something wasn't working in one particular area,

[00:44:53] I can just give up.

[00:44:54] I just switched it, right?

[00:44:56] And that's where the eye comes in.

[00:44:57] You've got to be able to innovate.

[00:44:58] As an entrepreneur,

[00:44:59] you really do have to have all four areas of grit.

[00:45:02] And if you, everyone's gonna be more focused

[00:45:06] on one specific area because that's gonna be from within

[00:45:09] and that's gonna be your natural ability

[00:45:11] to harness that particular area.

[00:45:13] But the part of growth is you've got to harness all four.

[00:45:17] You see, to get out of comfort zone and get into fear,

[00:45:20] you've gotta apply the G, right?

[00:45:21] You've gotta just get it done, take action.

[00:45:23] To get out of fear and get into the learning zone,

[00:45:26] you have to pull from the R.

[00:45:28] You've got to reframe how you think about situations

[00:45:31] so you can look at them differently.

[00:45:33] When you, to get out of the learning zone

[00:45:36] and get into the growth zone,

[00:45:37] you've gotta pull from the I.

[00:45:39] You've gotta be able to innovate your way out of challenges

[00:45:42] so they're not challenges and then become opportunities.

[00:45:44] And in doing so,

[00:45:45] you're gonna be able to impact some of the other people.

[00:45:47] And then as you get to that growth,

[00:45:49] that's where the T comes in.

[00:45:50] You've now got to take responsibility

[00:45:52] to start that entire process all over again.

[00:45:54] And your new growth becomes, excuse me,

[00:45:57] yeah, your new growth becomes your new comfort.

[00:46:00] And so now it starts again,

[00:46:01] comfort, fear, learning, growth.

[00:46:03] And it's the G-R-I-T.

[00:46:05] So you can't really get to growth

[00:46:07] and you're missing all four areas of grit.

[00:46:08] So as a leader, whether or not

[00:46:12] you see yourself as a leader, you are.

[00:46:14] Because you've got other people looking to you,

[00:46:16] you've got other people watching you

[00:46:17] that you don't even know are watching.

[00:46:19] And you could be influencing their next move

[00:46:21] and their decision on what they do next.

[00:46:24] And so it is a great responsibility as an entrepreneur

[00:46:26] that everything that you're doing,

[00:46:28] every decision that you're making,

[00:46:32] it's impacting everyone else around you

[00:46:34] whether you can see them or not.

[00:46:36] And so as a leader, you've got to be able to get it done,

[00:46:39] reframe how you think, impact others

[00:46:41] and take responsibility.

[00:46:42] So that spells grit.

[00:46:44] You can't be a leader without grit.

[00:46:46] Yeah, I think that's a great answer.

[00:46:48] And again, your model fits beautifully

[00:46:52] with the goal of figuring out what to do

[00:46:55] when you're facing that, not just an obstacle,

[00:46:57] but a boulder in the road.

[00:47:00] A lot of entrepreneurs talk to me about that too.

[00:47:03] How do I know what to do?

[00:47:05] And one of my suggestions is to always go back

[00:47:08] to the problem they're trying to solve for their customer

[00:47:12] because a lot of times the solution we pick to solve it

[00:47:15] isn't exactly right, but the problem still exists

[00:47:18] and we can modify that.

[00:47:19] And that's reframing I think,

[00:47:21] the way you're talking about it.

[00:47:22] So great advice.

[00:47:24] So I have to ask you,

[00:47:26] you talked about the importance of family

[00:47:28] and fitness and your business.

[00:47:30] So do you have balance in your life

[00:47:33] and how do you think about balance?

[00:47:36] Does it exist for an entrepreneur?

[00:47:38] So I will say this,

[00:47:39] that I don't like life work balance.

[00:47:42] I don't like people talking about life work balance

[00:47:45] because as an entrepreneur, your work is your life.

[00:47:48] It's something that you should be really passionate about.

[00:47:50] And what I mean by that is I wake up every day

[00:47:52] not even feeling like I'm working to be honest.

[00:47:55] It feels I'm so passionate about it

[00:47:57] and I believe it so wholeheartedly

[00:48:00] that it applies in every single area of my life.

[00:48:03] And I mentioned earlier that there's three major components.

[00:48:06] It's family, it's my fitness and also my business.

[00:48:10] Well, they all go hand in hand.

[00:48:12] But if you think of a pie chart

[00:48:14] and they all have a third,

[00:48:16] if there's one slightly off kilter.

[00:48:18] So for example, back in January and February

[00:48:21] I was really going full at it with my fitness

[00:48:24] tremendously because I knew I had some busy months

[00:48:26] coming up and I knew I had a competition.

[00:48:28] And so I was spending a lot of time doing that,

[00:48:32] making a lot of sacrifices.

[00:48:34] But as a result, it meant I had less time

[00:48:36] whether it's with family or focused on the business.

[00:48:38] So I very quickly said, no, that's out of alignment.

[00:48:41] So we have to make adjustments.

[00:48:43] So then I would scale back slightly

[00:48:46] whether it would, you know,

[00:48:47] I would go at a different time, you know,

[00:48:50] for my fitness or whatever it may be.

[00:48:51] I just changed it.

[00:48:52] So I always ensured that I had equal parts

[00:48:55] in that pie chart for everyone in my life.

[00:48:59] And so one of the biggest ways to do that

[00:49:00] is you've got to time block.

[00:49:03] You've got to say, okay, from this hour to this hour

[00:49:05] this is what I'm focused on.

[00:49:07] And then from this time to this time

[00:49:09] this is what I'm focused on.

[00:49:10] And if there's any distractions that come in

[00:49:13] you have to learn how to say no.

[00:49:14] You have to learn how to eliminate.

[00:49:16] You see, I talk about this in chapter six of the book

[00:49:18] and I use the Eisenhower matrix and it's very powerful.

[00:49:22] And I often say to people

[00:49:23] which box do you find yourself in?

[00:49:25] Are you in the urgent and important?

[00:49:27] Are you in the not important and urgent?

[00:49:29] Are you in the not important and not urgent?

[00:49:31] And so on and so on.

[00:49:32] Most people say to me they're in

[00:49:34] the not important and urgent box.

[00:49:37] I say, why not are you in that?

[00:49:40] Right?

[00:49:41] Or they say to me, I'm in the urgent and important box.

[00:49:44] I say, well, that's just gonna lead

[00:49:46] to your stress levels.

[00:49:47] The box we really wanna strive to be in is important

[00:49:51] because otherwise why do the work

[00:49:52] if it's not important, right?

[00:49:54] You could be in the important and the not urgent

[00:49:58] because that way you are doing the quality of the work

[00:50:01] that you need to be doing that's important

[00:50:02] to get you to where you wanna be the next day.

[00:50:06] But it's not urgent, which means

[00:50:08] that you haven't got the anxiety or the stress levels.

[00:50:10] The only reason something is urgent

[00:50:11] is because you've procrastinated.

[00:50:13] Or there could be something that maybe has come in

[00:50:15] that okay, you can't always control those situations

[00:50:20] where urgency comes in,

[00:50:22] but how are you gonna navigate that?

[00:50:24] Do you have another team member?

[00:50:25] You know, if it's just you,

[00:50:27] then okay, you've got to learn how to manage that

[00:50:29] in your time.

[00:50:30] So you look at the time blocking and say,

[00:50:31] where can I fit this in?

[00:50:32] If you've got a team member,

[00:50:34] can you delegate that particular task to a team member

[00:50:37] that maybe could be stronger in that particular realm?

[00:50:40] So in answer to the question,

[00:50:43] I don't believe in a life work balance.

[00:50:45] I believe that work is your life

[00:50:47] if you're really passionate about it.

[00:50:49] And so what I mean by that is,

[00:50:51] I wake up every day excited to do what I do.

[00:50:53] And if you don't wake up excited to do what you do,

[00:50:55] then you're probably doing the wrong thing.

[00:50:57] And that's where I would challenge you to say,

[00:50:59] don't just do it for money, right?

[00:51:01] Ask yourself, why am I doing this?

[00:51:03] Am I doing it for money?

[00:51:04] Am I doing it for the title?

[00:51:06] Or am I doing it for others?

[00:51:08] And really question that and say,

[00:51:10] why am I doing what I do?

[00:51:12] And if you wait,

[00:51:13] and it's important that you have that why,

[00:51:15] because there are gonna be days that you wake up

[00:51:18] that you're not gonna feel like it

[00:51:19] that particular morning.

[00:51:21] And then if you remember what your why is,

[00:51:23] even if you have it written down,

[00:51:25] next to your bed,

[00:51:26] or you have a symbol of some kind,

[00:51:28] you know, for me I have a pin of baby feet

[00:51:31] from my son Jack.

[00:51:33] And so I look at that every day

[00:51:34] and I think that's my why.

[00:51:36] That's why I do what I do.

[00:51:38] Even on the days I don't feel like,

[00:51:40] you know, getting up that morning

[00:51:41] because I'm exhausted,

[00:51:42] you know, from the day before.

[00:51:44] I follow the five pillars

[00:51:45] to try to ensure that I don't burn out.

[00:51:48] And this is one that people get scared of,

[00:51:49] especially entrepreneurs.

[00:51:50] They think that grit,

[00:51:52] like if you constantly apply grit,

[00:51:54] that it becomes a grind

[00:51:56] and it's gonna lead to burnout.

[00:51:58] Grit doesn't lead to burnout.

[00:52:00] What leads to burnout is grit unchecked.

[00:52:02] So you have to check your grit

[00:52:04] with the five pillars.

[00:52:05] And I talk about that,

[00:52:07] I think I believe that's in fact a three of the book,

[00:52:09] but I do talk about that

[00:52:10] and you've got to follow those five pillars.

[00:52:12] The one thing,

[00:52:12] one piece of advice I can give to entrepreneurs

[00:52:15] is you've got to look after what I call your hardware,

[00:52:19] because your software is always going, right?

[00:52:21] It's your brain.

[00:52:22] In order to ensure that you're working at an optimum level

[00:52:26] and to the level that you're really capable of,

[00:52:29] this doesn't just apply to entrepreneurs,

[00:52:30] it really applies to anybody.

[00:52:32] But you've got to look after your hardware.

[00:52:33] See when you have a phone and you have a laptop,

[00:52:36] what do you do?

[00:52:36] You charge it, right?

[00:52:37] So it has battery life.

[00:52:39] Well, if you continue to abuse it,

[00:52:40] you know, and maybe you drop it a few times,

[00:52:42] maybe you don't care

[00:52:43] because you think in a few years I can just upgrade it.

[00:52:45] What do you think happens to your body if you do that?

[00:52:48] You're not gonna get another body.

[00:52:51] So you have to look after what I call your hardware,

[00:52:54] which is your physical self,

[00:52:55] to ensure that your software,

[00:52:57] which is your organs and your brain,

[00:52:58] and your brain's an organ,

[00:53:00] you've got to give it what it needs

[00:53:02] in order for it to work at a very high level.

[00:53:05] And when you look at high performance

[00:53:07] and people that are successful,

[00:53:10] I'll tell you this,

[00:53:10] they follow the five pillars.

[00:53:11] How do I know?

[00:53:12] I've tested this so many times.

[00:53:14] I do it myself,

[00:53:15] but I've tested it so many times

[00:53:17] as it is a speaker when I'm up on stage.

[00:53:19] I should get the audience to stand up

[00:53:21] when we go through this process.

[00:53:22] It's a lot of fun, it's a lot of fun.

[00:53:23] And people realize, oh my gosh,

[00:53:25] if I could just follow these extra two pillars,

[00:53:28] or maybe I'm doing two out of the five pillars,

[00:53:30] maybe I'm doing four out of five,

[00:53:32] maybe I'm doing none.

[00:53:33] But if I follow these five pillars,

[00:53:34] the difference that's gonna make me feel

[00:53:37] I'm now gonna have what we call the balance, right?

[00:53:40] It doesn't become a life-work balance,

[00:53:42] but it just becomes a balance in your life

[00:53:43] between all the different areas

[00:53:44] that you're trying to navigate.

[00:53:47] Whoever you are outside of work

[00:53:49] is who you're gonna be inside work.

[00:53:50] And some people have argued with me,

[00:53:51] saying no, I'm two different people.

[00:53:53] I say well then in that case, you're not authentic.

[00:53:55] Because whoever you are outside of work

[00:53:57] should be the same as what you are inside work

[00:53:59] and vice versa.

[00:54:00] People that know me, that have met me,

[00:54:02] I'm no different when I'm with my family,

[00:54:05] I'm no different when I'm speaking on stage,

[00:54:08] and I'm no different when I'm in the fitness, right?

[00:54:11] It's all of it is combined together.

[00:54:14] And so that's why I mentioned earlier about authenticity.

[00:54:18] It is so crucial for you to maintain that

[00:54:20] in order for you to have what I call balance.

[00:54:23] Yeah, that's great advice.

[00:54:25] One quote from an entrepreneur that I've worked with

[00:54:29] is the way you do anything is the way

[00:54:31] the way you do anything is the way you do everything.

[00:54:34] And I think it goes back to what you're saying.

[00:54:37] And authenticity is so important,

[00:54:39] not just for our brand,

[00:54:43] but it keeps us grounded, I think,

[00:54:45] to remain authentic.

[00:54:47] This has been a wonderful conversation, Laura.

[00:54:50] I know we could talk on for a long time.

[00:54:53] Your book is a perfect book

[00:54:55] for entrepreneurs hunt or be hunted.

[00:54:58] And so I just would love for our audience

[00:55:01] to know a little bit more about where they can find you

[00:55:04] and where they can find your book

[00:55:05] and how they might even be able to invite you in

[00:55:08] to be a speaker or consultant.

[00:55:10] Yeah, I appreciate that.

[00:55:11] Thank you, Rebecca.

[00:55:12] So if anyone that is wanting to get a copy of the book,

[00:55:17] I highly encourage you to,

[00:55:18] because it would be an incredible tool,

[00:55:20] not just for you,

[00:55:21] but for others around you that you can help teach.

[00:55:23] But it's called Hunt or Be Hunted,

[00:55:25] How Anyone Can Develop Grip and Lead Like a Legend.

[00:55:28] It's available on Amazon.

[00:55:30] It's worldwide, it's available on Amazon worldwide,

[00:55:33] no matter whether you're in America or not.

[00:55:35] You can also visit my website, which is larajones.com.

[00:55:39] And it's L-A-R-A, there is no U in my name.

[00:55:43] So larajones.com.

[00:55:45] And also I actually have a little something

[00:55:48] I would love to give the audience today,

[00:55:52] because I've talked a lot about the grip system

[00:55:53] and I'm sure people will probably be intrigued.

[00:55:56] You'll learn a lot more about it in the book.

[00:55:59] But also I kind of encourage you to write down

[00:56:02] one thing that you've been putting off

[00:56:04] that you really need to take action on.

[00:56:06] So if you're listening, do that, right?

[00:56:08] Write it down right now.

[00:56:09] Think about one thing that you've been putting off

[00:56:11] that you really wanna take action on.

[00:56:13] And I'm gonna give you something to help you achieve that.

[00:56:16] So all you have to do is text the word GRIT

[00:56:19] to 55444, that's 55444.

[00:56:23] Just text the word GRIT to that number

[00:56:26] and you will receive a free GRIT accountability guide.

[00:56:31] And it's just gonna allow you to have a brief overview

[00:56:34] of the GRIT system and see how you can apply.

[00:56:37] There's like different exercises in there,

[00:56:38] how you can apply it in different situations.

[00:56:40] It's just a brief guide, but it's incredibly helpful.

[00:56:43] So just text the word GRIT to 55444.

[00:56:46] You can visit me on LaraJones.com.

[00:56:48] The best way to actually contact me is through LinkedIn.

[00:56:51] So if you find me, if you put Lara Jones,

[00:56:54] be a legend, which is one of my company names

[00:56:56] or Lara Jones, GRIT Global, I will come up

[00:56:59] and connect with me on there or follow me.

[00:57:02] I give out daily content every single day.

[00:57:05] So it's very inspirational,

[00:57:07] but also there's tools available in there.

[00:57:09] So you can get free little golden nuggets

[00:57:11] and snippets just through my content daily.

[00:57:14] And if you do want to schedule a call with me,

[00:57:16] obviously just go to the website.

[00:57:18] There's a section where you can schedule a call.

[00:57:21] I think it's under the executive coaching section,

[00:57:23] but there's multiple ways to find me.

[00:57:25] I'm on Instagram, Facebook.

[00:57:27] Yes, I highly encourage you to text the word GRIT

[00:57:29] to 55444, connect with me on LinkedIn

[00:57:32] and buy the book on Amazon, Until Be Hunted.

[00:57:35] Thank you, Lara.

[00:57:37] Thank you, Rebecca.

[00:57:38] Appreciate it.

[00:57:40] If you enjoyed this episode

[00:57:42] and would like to learn more about entrepreneurship,

[00:57:44] we would love it if you hit that subscribe button.

[00:57:47] Thank you so much for listening

[00:57:49] to this episode of InFactor.