[00:00:00] Hi and welcome back to Reflect Forward. I'm your host Kerry Siggins and I'm so glad you were here today.
[00:00:13] Today I want to talk about mastering the art of bad news because as leaders we are faced with having to deliver bad news and we're also faced with having to receive bad news from time to time.
[00:00:25] Hopefully it's only from time to time but let's face it, there are financial losses that happen.
[00:00:29] There are project setbacks, there are organizational changes, people leave the company who you don't really want to leave and when someone has to deliver that bad news to you it's really imperative that you receive it well.
[00:00:41] And then when you have to talk to the organization, the broader organization about what's going on, you have to be able to deliver that bad news in a way that is effective, the way that builds trust, the way that calms the team down and the way that builds trust.
[00:00:58] And the way that builds respect within the organization. So how you manage yourself in these situations is really important. You need to respond and not react and then you need to be able to guide your team with confidence during these difficult times.
[00:01:12] And so that's what I want to talk about today. How do you handle yourself with poise when these situations happen?
[00:01:19] So my first tip is to pause before reacting. We don't want to react, we want to respond. When we respond we're much more thoughtful. When we react we let our emotions take control of us and we typically do not handle ourselves in the way that we would like to look back upon and say oh I did that so well.
[00:01:35] So if you want to look back upon yourself and say I did that really well, you need to just pause for a minute. Now that typically as a leader has to be in the moment. You don't necessarily get to say okay you just delivered that bad news to me.
[00:01:48] We're not going to talk about it. I'm going to come back. Sometimes you might have to do that but you really need to get good at being able to pause in that moment and get yourself under control.
[00:01:57] So take a deep breath, pause before saying anything and center yourself. One of the things that I do is when I start to feel that like who I don't like what I'm hearing, I take a deep breath and I think about my feet on the ground.
[00:02:13] When you get into your body it helps you ground yourself so just think about my feet, think about my feet. Okay I can feel them on the ground and that really does instantly make you be able to be more present and calms you down.
[00:02:25] And a deep breath is really important too. The next tip is to assess objectively and you can only do that if you ask questions. So you might want to have this initial reaction or response but most likely when you are getting bad news delivered to you, that person is really nervous saying it to you.
[00:02:46] And so they could rush out their delivery of it. They could deliver actually really poorly. They could say things that they don't mean because they're just nervous about having a conversation and I always keep that in mind.
[00:02:57] I know when I'm hearing bad news that it is just as hard if not harder for the person who is telling it to me than it is for me to be hearing it. So I always ask questions.
[00:03:08] Okay tell me a little bit more about what's going on. What happened here? What do you know about it? Why are you making this decision? Get some of that information so that you can help keep yourself kind of calm in that moment.
[00:03:20] If you need to get a broader perspective, that's important too. So let's say you're dealing with a big financial loss that you weren't expecting. If you want to assess objectively you might have to go talk to lots of people and get that perspective.
[00:03:32] So you want to just try to make sure that you truly understand the situation with as much emotion removed from of it. So go ask questions if you have to talk to multiple people to understand what's going on, go do that.
[00:03:44] So the next thing you need to do after you've paused and you've assessed objectively by asking questions, you can say okay I would like to take some time to process this.
[00:03:55] Making decisions in that moment is usually not a good idea. I find that certainly a little bit of space, whether that's an hour or a day or even sleeping on it helps me be able to show up the next day better.
[00:04:08] And so it's good to say okay thanks for sharing all this with me. Let me process it. I will come back to you. I will circle back to you at a later period of time in an hour tomorrow whatever that looks like.
[00:04:21] That's really important because you need some time to think through things and when you get bad news like you're in that initial like okay fight or flight mode and what am I going to do.
[00:04:31] But you might get a lot better ideas when you just pause for a moment. And then finally seek counsel. It's really good to be able to call up a trusted advisor or a mentor to say hey I just got this really bad news as a leader and I need a fresh perspective.
[00:04:47] I need some help identifying different aspects of this situation and maybe brainstorm some paths forward. So having that person that you can reach out to and seeking counsel is really important.
[00:04:58] So that is how you handle yourself with poise when you are dealing with bad news, when you have somebody come and tell you something that you don't want to hear.
[00:05:07] And that way that you can manage your composure and hopefully then be able to circle back and have a much better path going forward. Now I just practice this. I just had bad news delivered to me recently and I had to really use this in the moment.
[00:05:23] But it was really powerful because I feel like I handled it well in the moment. I asked a lot of questions. I paused and said okay I got to come back to it. I got some advice and then I was able to show up the next day so much better with a plan of attack to be able to say okay here's how we're going to address this.
[00:05:42] So it's really important to stay poised when you're delivering bad news. And this has not always been easy for me.
[00:05:48] I have told this story on this podcast many a times about my cool, calm and collected mantra. I got a piece of feedback years ago that I was erratic and I swore I was never going to be called that again.
[00:05:59] And so I have really been practicing this mantra, cool, calm and collected. How am I an inflappable leader?
[00:06:06] And this is really important when you are dealing with tough times, moments of crisis or you know tough stuff in your company. Your leadership matters and how you show up in those tough times is what sets the tone for the company.
[00:06:22] I find that I perform my very best in very difficult situations. The harder the situation, the higher stress the situation, the more that I can rise up to it and really think clearly about this is what needs to happen and this is what we need to do.
[00:06:39] But not everybody's like that. And so you have to give yourself time but the only way to be able to do that is to stay cool, calm and collected.
[00:06:47] And I found that when I am cool, calm and collected rather than freaking out because let's face it, freaking out does not make anything better ever. When I say cool, calm and collected, how would an inflappable leader handle this?
[00:07:00] It promotes rational thinking so that I can have a calm mind for better problem solving and better decision making capabilities.
[00:07:07] And I am so much easier to talk to because that's the second thing staying cool, calm and collected does is that it reduces anxiety amongst your team members.
[00:07:16] When you stay calm, your calmness can be contagious. If you're not panicking then the team is likely to not panic.
[00:07:23] I mean, people might be upset and they might go into fear based mode like what does this mean for me? What does this mean for the company?
[00:07:30] But if you're like, hey, you know what? We've got this. Nothing is permanent. This too shall pass. We are going to get through it. And here's how.
[00:07:40] And let's talk about this together that can really help calm your team down. You know, you walking around like, you know, a crazed person is going to make your team feel crazed and it only adds more stress to the situation.
[00:07:52] So remember, cool, calm and collected. It reduces your own anxiety and it reduces the anxiety of your team members.
[00:07:59] And it's much more constructive approach to problem solving. There's always problems in business.
[00:08:05] There are always curveballs that are going to be thrown at you.
[00:08:08] There are always things you are going to have to deal with that you would probably rather not have to deal with.
[00:08:13] But that is the essence of leadership is that you can't stop things from happening. Things happen. People leave organizations.
[00:08:23] Things don't turn out the way that you want it to. You have a big, huge mass of quality issue and have to recall a product.
[00:08:30] You know, you have a customer who's really angry with you because of a major screw up. All of these things happen in business.
[00:08:37] And while we work hard to try to minimize them, that's just impossible to never ever deal with a crisis or a hard situation at work.
[00:08:45] So just remember that part of leadership is building that resiliency to be able to handle it.
[00:08:51] These things happen and these things will pass. Nothing is ever permanent.
[00:08:57] Ever. No matter how much we want to keep things the same, they don't.
[00:09:03] Nothing is permanent. No relationship is permanent. No job is permanent.
[00:09:09] No tough situation is permanent. No good time is ever permanent.
[00:09:14] Everything always ebbs and flows, and that perspective really helps me keep a more rational mind going forward when these tough things do happen.
[00:09:22] All right. So finally, let's talk about how you can respond in a way that builds trust and builds respect in your organization.
[00:09:29] When you have something the hard that's going on, it affects the entire team and you really want to influence how the team perceives the situation,
[00:09:37] how the team perceives your leadership and how you create a path forward.
[00:09:41] So here are the things that I do. One is be transparent. Share what you know. Share what you don't know. It's OK to admit.
[00:09:48] I don't know everything here, but I'm going to tell you this is what I do know.
[00:09:52] Being transparent and honest is always the best way to go.
[00:09:57] It might feel safer to try to avoid the situation or hide the situation or not talk about it, but that is not the right thing to do.
[00:10:04] You really need to be transparent so that you can be more transparent.
[00:10:08] And I think that's a great way to do it.
[00:10:11] So I'm going to talk about this in a little bit.
[00:10:14] So I'm going to talk about this in a little bit.
[00:10:17] The second piece is to show empathy.
[00:10:22] It's really important to acknowledge the impact that this bad news has on your team.
[00:10:27] So when you express empathy with this, like, yes, I understand how hard this is.
[00:10:31] Be really tough. It's tough for all of us.
[00:10:34] It's tough for all of us to be really tough.
[00:10:37] And I think that's the key to being transparent.
[00:10:40] And I think that's the key to being transparent.
[00:10:45] It's tough for all of us and we're going to get through it.
[00:10:48] It allows them to express themselves and it alleviates fear rather than telling them, oh, you shouldn't feel that way.
[00:10:55] And also fosters a supportive culture because that's what you're going to need when you are dealing with a tough situation.
[00:11:01] I'll never forget the worst news I ever received for the company was when we were hacked back in 2020.
[00:11:08] It was such a difficult situation and people were so scared.
[00:11:12] And I just tried to show so much empathy to that fear because I felt it myself.
[00:11:17] And by doing that, we created this really supportive culture that pulled us through it.
[00:11:22] And it was so incredibly amazing the teamwork that happened.
[00:11:26] Being empathetic to what all of our teammates were going through to get through it.
[00:11:29] There's no way that we would have fostered that type of culture where everyone came together and said, we're going to get through this.
[00:11:36] The third thing is to empower your team.
[00:11:38] When you're being transparent and you're telling your team what's going on, that's a great opportunity to say, hey, will you help me craft a solution?
[00:11:47] It's my favorite thing to do.
[00:11:49] I love to ask, what would you do here?
[00:11:51] Just recently when dealing with a situation here, I called up one of my employees in Europe, an awesome team members worked for us for years.
[00:11:59] And I said, hey, here's what I'm thinking about how to deal with this situation.
[00:12:02] What would you do?
[00:12:03] And he gave me some really great insight and said, I would do this and I wouldn't do this.
[00:12:08] And it was fantastic.
[00:12:10] And I know he felt empowered and it helped him wrap his head around his role in this organizational transformation.
[00:12:19] And I know that made him feel better because his input mattered.
[00:12:23] And so it was really empowering for both of us.
[00:12:26] So when you empower your team to help you by being transparent and asking them what they think,
[00:12:31] it actually empowers yourself to go, OK, I feel more confident in making this decision to go forward.
[00:12:37] And then finally, number four, always follow through on your actions.
[00:12:42] It's one thing to discuss the bad news and talk about the potential solutions.
[00:12:46] You can outline a plan.
[00:12:47] But if you do not follow through on doing what you say you're going to do to fix the solution, resolve the solution, make whatever change you need to make, it lets the team down.
[00:12:58] It makes you lose credibility.
[00:13:01] Accountability shows that you are proactive and that you are dedicated to overcoming the obstacles or overcoming whatever challenge is happening.
[00:13:08] So if you make a commitment that I am going to do this, I'm going to follow up with you in three days after we've had a chance to process this and we'll talk about it.
[00:13:18] Make sure you do that in three days.
[00:13:20] If you say I'm going to pull a team together on Monday morning so that we can talk about this as a group, make sure you do that.
[00:13:27] When you say I'm going to go resolve the problem this way and I'm going to circle back and I'm going to let you know what happened.
[00:13:34] Make sure you circle back.
[00:13:35] It's really important to follow through on that action because if people don't hear back from you, if you're not communicating regularly, then they're going to think something is really wrong and they're going to tell themselves that story.
[00:13:46] So make sure that you follow through with your action plan, with whatever commitments that you make.
[00:13:52] So those are my tips for receiving bad news and delivering bad news.
[00:13:56] I think overall the most important thing is that you need to really create that psychological safety to earn respect and you have to do that by responding effectively to bad news.
[00:14:07] And to do that, you have to create an environment where people feel safe, where they feel safe to come and give you bad news, where they feel safe to express their concerns, where they feel safe to propose solutions without the fear of negative repercussions or judgment or being left out or any of those things that people fear.
[00:14:25] So as you're thinking about how to create that psychological safety, I encourage you to have open communication.
[00:14:33] Let your team know that their voices are valued.
[00:14:36] These open lines of communication can really lead to new ideas and insights and it makes navigating through tough times so much easier.
[00:14:43] The next thing to create psychological safety and earning respect in tough times is to lead by example.
[00:14:50] You have to demonstrate resilience.
[00:14:53] If you fall apart, your team is going to fall apart.
[00:14:56] So you have to show your team that you can face any challenge head on and when you do so, it gives them the courage to do the same.
[00:15:04] That they can handle whatever change is coming.
[00:15:08] They can handle the bad news.
[00:15:09] They can handle the outcome.
[00:15:11] They can handle the work that needs to be done to address the situation with confidence, with resilience themselves.
[00:15:19] And then finally, always acknowledge the effort.
[00:15:22] Always say thank you.
[00:15:24] Thank you for helping me with this.
[00:15:26] Thank you for working through this, for putting in the effort, regardless of the outcomes.
[00:15:32] Say thank you.
[00:15:33] Acknowledge the team.
[00:15:34] When a company is going through something hard, it is really easy just to put your head down and get things done.
[00:15:40] And sometimes the problem exists for a while and you might not acknowledge effort and say thank you enough.
[00:15:47] And it really does create that psychological safety and people will respect you more as a leader when you say, hey, I really appreciate your effort during this tough time.
[00:15:55] Thank you so much.
[00:15:56] It absolutely boosts morale and strengthens the loyalty your employees will feel to you.
[00:16:01] So hopefully this helped give you some tips on how to handle bad news more effectively, how to navigate it like a pro.
[00:16:10] Because remember that when you handle it well, not only does it help you with the immediate challenge, but it also helps you strengthen your reputation as a capable, cool, calm and collected leader.
[00:16:22] When you stay composed, when you are transparent, and when you create that inclusive environment to solve the problems, you can guide your team literally through anything and emerge stronger on the other side, even though it isn't always easy.
[00:16:36] All right. With that, I will leave you to your day.
[00:16:38] Thank you so much.
[00:16:39] I hope you enjoyed this podcast.
[00:16:40] If you like it, please write a review, subscribe to it, go to YouTube and subscribe to it, share it with a friend.
[00:16:45] I really appreciate it.
[00:16:46] And if you like tips like this, please get my book, The Ownership Mindset, a handbook for transforming your life and leadership.
[00:16:51] You can find it on Amazon.
[00:16:53] It's filled with all kinds of actionable advice just like these podcasts.
[00:16:56] Thanks.
[00:16:57] We'll see you next week.